Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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