How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
