Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
