Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
