my room smells like sperm. sweet.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
