she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
