i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
