You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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