But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
