Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
