I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
