i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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