babies were throwing up all over the place
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
