I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
