I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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