toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize