watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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