She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
