I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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