let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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