She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
