God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
