I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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