We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i drank out of a bidet.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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