He uses pillows to masturbate.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
