When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
