My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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