i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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