And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
