Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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