i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
