is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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