We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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