From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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