If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
