I can text with my tongue
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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