If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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