You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
