Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
