I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
