Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
