I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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