Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
