You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
