uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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