On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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