I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
