but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My vagina just clenched in fear
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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