What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
