wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
