My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
