I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
