My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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