dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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