I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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