Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
