i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
