I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
