ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
