Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
