I didn't shave. On purpose
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
