I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
