Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
